What you must tell yourself daily…..

Sexual abuse or any life traumatic experience has a way sometimes to make you feel “down in the dumps”.  You have to make sure you remind yourself everyday all the positive qualities you possess. Even on days you really don’t believe it, tell yourself anyway.

While at home I have positive notes and quotes everywhere.  It really helps me remember who I am and why I exist.  We all have a purpose.  I use posted notes on mirrors and refrigerator.  I use electronic posted notes on my computer. I purchase pictures and/or painting with positive words.

Its important that all of us stay encouraged always.  I encourage you today.  Go and get some posted notes or grab a few sheets of paper and start writing the positive things  that make you the beautiful person you are.

Today is about “Loving You”.  Love yourself without limits.  Give yourself permission to me imperfect, you won’t be brilliant everyday.  But, there is something you have done everyday that you can be proud of.  Remember those qualities.

Talk with you later…..




How does a survivor cope after Sexual Abuse?

As a survivor myself of sexual abuse, I can tell you, you may go through many changes. For some it takes months, for some years, and others never “Handle” the sexual abuse experience.

Alot of things play role in the process of handling/healing.  Each person’s story is so very different.  The journey of someone who was abused for years maybe different than someone who was abused once.  Someone who was abused by a stranger the healing process may be different if it was a family member.

I’ve also found it very soothing to talk about your traumatic experience. In using your voice, you never know how you may heal by telling your story.  If your not into talking, writing also helps get the emotions released.

I personally went through many different feelings and emotions, changes, resets, setbacks, etc.  The picture above depicts the very feelings many of us have endured at one time or another.

Feeling Alone:

Feeling Hurt:

Feeling Abandoned:

Feeling Ashamed:

Feeling Afraid:

Feeling like your the Blame:

Hating yourself and maybe the predator too:

The list of feelings/emotions you can experience is endless. But, these are true feelings and true emotions.  As I released each one, I counted it as a blessing.  I realized I was one step closer to my freedom, my peace.

I’ll talk with you Friday so that we can discuss some of our questions from earlier in the week.


How Common is Sexual Abuse?

There are so many different variations of the type of survivors in the world. As there are many different studies performed on statistics of sexual abuse.  I’ve done a bit of research and pulled out a few that remain shocking for me.  I wanted to share them with you.

Did you know?

  • One in three girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before the age of 18 [1]
  • One in 5 youth received a sexual approach or solicitation over the Internet in the past year.[2]
  • The average age for first abuse is 9.9 years for boys and 9.6 years for girls. [2]
  • Abuse typically occurs within a long-term, on-going relationship between the offender and victim, escalates over time and lasts an average of four years.[3]
  • Many child sexual abuse victims never disclose their abuse to anyone. Less than 12% of child sexual abuse is reported to the police.[4]
  • Children are most vulnerable between ages 7-13.[5]
  • 29% of all forcible rapes occurred when the victim was under 11 years old.[6]
  • 15% of sexual assault and rape victims are under the age of 12.[7]

These facts are horrifying.  We have to stay on guard and stay in the know on sexual abuse.  This topic easily gets ignored or dismissed.

The questions are:

How do survivors cope with life after sexual abuse?

If it happened to a loved one, what will you do?

If you could help raise awareness, would you?

How do survivors heal?

How can we prevent such occurrences?

And many more questions…..we will start tackling them in the coming weeks.

Talk with you to Tomorrow.


[1] Arata, C. (2002) Child Sexual Abuse and Sexual Revictimization. Clinical Psychology, 9: 135-164.
[2] David Finkelhor, Kimberly J. Mitchell, and Janis Wolak, 2000, Online Victimization: A Report on the Nation’s Youth, National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: Arlington, VA. Darkness 2 Light. Statistics Surrounding Child Sexual Abuse.
[3] American Academy of Pediatrics, Preventing Sexual Violence, An Educational Toolkit for Health Care Professionals, The Facts about Sexual Violence, https://www2.aap.org/pubserv/PSVpreview/pages/factsheet.html
[4] Hanson, R. F., Resnick, H. S., Saunders, B. E., Kilpatrick, D. G., & Best, C. (1999). Factors related to the reporting of childhood rape. Child Abuse and Neglect, 23, 559–569. doi:10.1016/S0145-2134(99)00028-9. http://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications_nsvrc_factsheet_media-packet_statistics-about-sexual-violence_0.pdf
[5] David Finkelhor, Director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center. https://www.victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/child-sexual-abuse-statistics
[6] National Center for Victims of Crime and Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center, 1992
[7] US Department of Justice Sex Offense and Offenders Study. 1997.

Well, What is Sexual Abuse anyway….???


Well according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary the Legal definition is sexual abuse is:

1a: the infliction of sexual contact upon a person by forcible compulsion b : the engaging in sexual contact with a person who is below a specified age or who is incapable of giving consent because of age or mental or physical incapacity

2 the crime of engaging in or inflicting sexual abuse

Sexual Abuse is ANY unwanted sexual activity, with perpetrators using force, making threats or taking advantage of victims not able to give consent. The word and definition is in it “ Sex” and Abuse.

Understanding exactly what sexual abuse is will help with understanding risks, recognizing prevention techniques, etc.

Now that we know what it is?  Do you know how common sexual abuse is?  It is actually sadly very common.  Tomorrow we will discuss the Statistics behind Sexual Abuse.

Are you ready?  Chat with you Monday.


Welcome Readers

Well Hello There, Nice to Meet You!

Thanks for visiting my blog. Starting this blog is an exciting new venture for me and I’d like for you to join me daily to chat it up a bit.  This gives me a chance to discuss with the world sexual abuse.  This is a topic that is very rarely discussed, but, I’d like to talk to you about it.  With hopes of raising awareness, dispel myths, discuss ways of prevention, healing and soooo…. much more…..It’s so imperative for us to use our VOICE, for ourselves and those we love. I’d love for you to join me and learn and interject your experiences and opinions.

Wow! There is so much I want to share with you, Lol.  I’m definitely the talker-type. I invite you to check-in with me daily as I too will share my personal stories and the steps I took to heal.

See ya tomorrow!! #Iamvoices# @iamvoices#www.iamvoices.org# Stopsexualabuse#